A two-year-old is on the floor screaming because their banana broke in half. What you do in the next thirty seconds shapes the emotional skills that child carries into school and beyond. Emotion coaching gives you a simple, repeatable way to respond: connect with the feeling first, then guide the behaviour.
This emotion coaching course turns that principle into six practical steps with words you can say tomorrow. It takes the approach into the hardest moments of the nursery day, shows you how to build self-regulation across routines and play, and helps you get every adult in the setting responding the same way.
Why emotion coaching matters
Young children cannot yet calm themselves down. When a big feeling hits, the thinking part of the brain effectively goes offline, so reasoning, instructions and “use your words” cannot land. Children learn to regulate by borrowing calm from a trusted adult, again and again, until the skill becomes their own. Every wobble, tantrum and tearful drop-off is a chance to build that skill.
Self-regulation sits within personal, social and emotional development, one of the prime areas of the EYFS, and it is an early learning goal. The course links the approach to the key person relationship and to staff supervision, both statutory requirements of the EYFS. It is also clear that physical punishment and rough handling are prohibited in early years settings, and that safeguarding procedures always sit above the approach.
What’s in the course
- What emotion coaching is and why it worksJohn Gottman’s research, the dismissing, disapproving and laissez-faire styles, and connecting before you correct.
- Big feelings and the developing brainThe upstairs and downstairs brain, “name it to tame it”, and co-regulation.
- The steps of emotion coaching in practiceSix steps from noticing early to problem-solving once calm, with ready-to-say scripts.
- Coaching through tantrums, tears and conflictDrop-off distress, toy disputes, hitting and biting, and what to do when you are the one who is triggered.
- Building self-regulation across the dayPredictable routines, warned transitions, feelings vocabulary, breathing games and a calm corner that works.
- A whole-setting approachA shared script bank, supervision and staff culture, and bringing parents alongside without preaching.
- Assessment10 questions. Pass mark 80%. Resit as many times as you need.
What you’ll learn
- The core principle that all feelings are acceptable but not all behaviour is
- The six steps: notice early, see it as a moment for connection, empathise and validate, name the feeling, hold any limit, then problem-solve once calm
- Scripts for holding limits calmly, such as “It’s okay to be cross. It’s not okay to bite.”
- Why you validate before distracting at drop-off, and why sneaking out makes the alarm louder tomorrow
- How to respond to hitting and biting: limit first, comfort the hurt child, then invite a repair rather than force an apology
- How to notice your own triggers, buy a few seconds and agree a “tag me out” signal with a colleague
- How to teach slow breathing as a game, practised when children are already calm
- Why a calm corner must always be a choice and never used to isolate a child as a punishment
Who this course is for
- Key persons and practitioners in every room, from babies to preschool
- Room leaders who want a consistent response to big feelings across the team
- Managers rewriting a behaviour policy around connection, co-regulation and limits
- Apprentices, students and lunchtime cover who respond to children’s feelings during the day
How it works
- OnlineStudy on any device and pick up where you left off.
- 6 short lessonsAbout 45 minutes in total.
- 10-question assessmentPass mark 80%. Resit as many times as you need.
- CertificateIssued when you pass. NFAQ accredited.
Training your team
If the key person says “you’re cross, I won’t let you throw” and lunch cover says “stop that silly noise”, the child gets two contradictory lessons. Emotion coaching works best when every adult responds the same way. Choose the number of learners at checkout, with group rates from 3 learners, or get it as part of the Training Portal for £5 per learner per month. It builds directly into Positive Behaviour Management in the Early Years and Attachment Theory and the Key Person Approach.
Frequently asked questions
What is emotion coaching?
An approach that grew out of research by the psychologist John Gottman. When a child has a big feeling, you connect with the emotion first, then guide the behaviour. It keeps the warmth of accepting feelings and adds limits and guidance.
Isn’t emotion coaching just letting children off?
No. Limits are part of every step. You validate the feeling and hold the limit at the same time: “You really wanted the digger. You’re so cross. I won’t let you hit.” Accepting every feeling with no limits is a different style, which the course calls laissez-faire.
Does it take up a lot of time?
No extra time or resources are needed. Validating, naming the feeling and holding a limit can happen in three short sentences. The noticing and the calm are what take practice.
Should we use time out or a naughty step?
The course advises against isolating a child as a punishment. A child in distress needs an adult nearby. A calm corner can help, as long as it is always a choice and adults use it warmly alongside the child.
Can we share the approach with parents?
Yes. Lesson 6 covers modelling it at pick-up, sharing small successes, offering ideas without prescribing and asking parents what already works at home.
What happens if I don’t pass the assessment?
You can resit it as many times as you need until you pass. Your certificate is issued as soon as you reach the 80% pass mark.
